Friday, July 25, 2014

Types of users on IRC

Credits to "rebelos" on IRC for giving me this crazy idea :D
As Slim's main IRC user support, I spend a lot of time in contact with Slim users. And with the constant contact, I now have some perspective on what type of users are there on IRC.

1) The lurker: The majority on the channel are lurkers, which means they basically sit there either watching the chat, or on a bouncer and they are actually offline. Basically you see their name in the list, but they don't talk at all. Even if you ping them, they usually don't respond.

2) The Hyperactive: Some users just come in, say something completely useless, then go out, come back in, and repeat. Or some of them don't know that their keyboard has a space button; They keep pressing send after every word, basically flooding the channel.

3) The NewB: Most slim users are NewBs (No, not Noobs... let me explain). A NewB is the new guy, willing to learn, but doesn't know much. Usually IRC NewBs tend to ask questions like "why am i not rooted anymore?"... This is perfectly normal and happen a lot. There are a lot of NewBs around, and I'm more than glad to help them.

4) The Noob: Unlike the NewB, the Noob is a NewB not willing to learn anything. He likes to be spoonfed. He hates reading or even listening or watching guides to learn a thing or two. Noobs on IRC basically come in, ask a very stupid question that can be answered by a simple google search, then quickly quit the channel. The result? Unwanted spam/flood in the channel.

5) The Old: We get a whole lot of users that are Old. No, not old as in he's like 40, but Old as in he's stuck in the days of JellyBean. Old users tend to ask questions like "How can i get better battery life?" or "Why is the mic not working?". We stopped supporting SlimBean, and moved on to supporting SlimKat. So any SlimBean bugs can't and won't be fixed. So those Old users should upgrade to Slimkat if they can,

6) The Unofficial: The weirdest users I come in contact with are the Unofficial users. They ask questions like "Why can't i charge my phone on this ROM?". We'll be like "WAT!" until we check their Slim version and find that their device isn't officially supported, but the IRC app is there so the users go into that for help.

7) The Nice: We get users that are just too nice. So nice that they tend to get annoying sometimes. Like when I answer someone's question and they be like "thank you!"... enter...."thanks so much that did it!".... enter.... "ty have a nice day!".... OKAY WE GET IT!

8) The Typo: I love this one alot, because really the user might be legit. He might know a lot in android, and he might even be the biggest android dev. But the fact that his english is weak makes his sentences look like he's some kind of a drunk user. I usually translate his sentences so i could know what he's talking about or what he wants.

9) The Glue: "My battery life isn't so good"... Let android settle for 4 days then judge battery. Then after two days he comes again: "My batter life is still not good"... Didn't I tell you to let android settle?... "Yes, but it's been 2 whole days"... Well two whole days are not enough!

10) The Warrior: I only got this once so far, and I just had to ban him for a while to make him learn how to speak. The warrior comes in, says "CAN'T GET ROOT THIS ROM IS CRAP!"... I respond with the classic answer... he says "WHY IS IT THAT WAY YOU SUCK!" and keeps on saying very bad words until i warn him 3 times and eventually use my shiny ban hammer and kick the ROM out of him (get it? because he said that the ROM is crap? no?.... :(  )

11) The Troll: Usully this guy comes in to IRC, ask a silly question. Okay, fine, I answer him and move on. But the thing is, he completely ignores my existence, and asks the exact same question again. The worst thing a user once did was actually saying "rirozizo u there?" right after i answered him! ugh!

12 ) The Team: The craziest users I come constantly in contact with, are team members. They are crazy geniuses, and I think I've gotten to the place where I can just say whatever I want to them and they won't mind. We are great friends and dealing with them is just heaven-like....

That's about it I guess... Those were 12 types of IRC users that I chat with every day. I hope you weren't bored reading all this :D